top of page

Troublemaking

IV1BHROS2018 Sonya was the toaster and I picked up a gun and shot it because I realised it was named after his ex-wife

 

I lived with my.. maybe just my mother or maybe my family and the world was very kind of savage. It was quite… you had to have goats and kill them for skin, and make clay pots and things. Although we had some really weirdly modern things like new tents and the horrible thing is if you stayed outside you got attacked by Zombie people. But they were like a minor interference, so you just had to make sure you had a place to hide. And then my dad… there was a man, a detective- maybe it was me, maybe it was my dad,, I’m not really sure- I was watching the detective, he had a fat belly, he kept getting drunk and he know about people who were being stolen. There was some kind of rule like 1-2-3 cars and then someone got stolen from the quarry and so he was up there waiting. And then it was definitely me and I witnessed who got stolen, but I kept falling asleep, it was at 2am if they were going to get stolen and I kept falling asleep. And then… they took me, I was in the car, a vintage car and it was very bumpy and they were people.. yeah, familiar people but dressed like proper men in long overcoats and hats and cigars and what have you. And they took me in their car up a … and we got out and we walked up a small alley. And then I wasn’t afraid of them anymore it was like I’d made communication with them, I’d made friends with them . And then I was getting dressed and ready to go out somewhere with them… not really sure, there was something to do with rollerblading and they wanted me to look more aggressive then I did. They were trying to make me wear a studded belt and I was wearing blue and white stripped short short dungarees and they were like at least wear some tights under them, but you know what dungarees are like so I had to take off all the layers off to get through to the shorts… then back to the city place, it was weird cos my mum tried to move out of town and there was a touring bus that went along a dangerously wobbly cliff edge and it was like a huge double decker bus on a tiny cliff edge view and then we got off the bus in the country side, the women with the buggy had to get really out the way of the bus it was annoying and then there was this man, who we’d known before, but I  can’t remember why and he’d never spoken much before I think I had seen him in the pub,  whose got like a long coat and a hat and a moustache and a stick for walking around with and he had two goats on chains… and then it was suddenly all zombieish and awful and he was trying to get us to all to live in the countryside and I was saying I’d rather just go back to the city where it’s safer and my mum was saying no we should live here, but actually I kind of understand and he was saying no we’ve nearly done it here, we should stay here. And he made me go back to his house to collect something he needed for the building I’m not really sure what, I don’t really understand the instructions. But it was downhill all the way so I ran really quickly, and inside his house I thought that he needed a piece of flint and I thought that the piece of flint would be inside his toaster and then I realised that he had named his kitchen appliances and all of the names were like… what were they called… Hannah… Sonya , and I can’t remember what else. But, um, Sonya was the toaster and I picked up a gun and shot it because I realised it was named after his ex-wife.  No idea what I had against his ex-wife but I did that, and then I pulled the bottom part of the toaster out and got the thing he needed out. Then I realised I might have done the wrong thing so I turned the toaster round so that he couldn’t see the bullet hole and then HE CAME IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR!...  and so I had to shimmy round and try and leave and I left out the front door and I ran down the hill and I ran across the street and ran into the town and I could see a field of tents,  and sweet safety and then I think my phone buzzed and I woke up- something spoiled it at that point. 

 

IV1bUGAL2015 Throwing dogs off the roof

 

I went to an art gallery and people were throwing dogs off the roof and betting on whether or not they would survive. I was enraged and asked awkward questions at a launch. Someone showed a film of me talking about it but with no sound as if to smear me. 

 

IV3bUBIL2014 Some kind of evil musical

 

I was 21- not true- I was 22. I just moved back to m father’s place – I had to spend the summer there. Then I dreamt I was in Viborg hanging out with my friends on the street and then al of a sudden we are being surrounded by a gang. I fee their tension towards us but I invert it and take their gun. Instead of being angry they headhunt me and before long they take me to see their leader- have you seen nightmare before Christmas? The man with two faces- I was super scared but somehow I become his confident and partner in crime. Then later on we are in a carpark , it has been leading up to this moment I know I have to kill him. I get the gun, it clicks and doesn’t explode and then he leaves and I realise that he’ll bring the gang and come to get me and kill me and then I wake up. The whole dream had the feel of some kind of evil musical.

​

IV1bHTRE2018 Evil Dutch woman and a long philosophical conversation

 

I was in a weird party-a school disco- we were dancing in the rain and there were wagamama takeaways everywhere. People  kept dragging me off to rooms and toilets to gossip. There were people I knew from different points in my life at this party. At the same time in parallel I was living with an evil Dutch woman who made me load the dishwasher. Later I was crossing a bridge and saw a man dressed up and football hooligans attacking him. I phoned the police but the policeman was taking ages and ages and wanted to have a long philosophical conversation with me.

​

IV1bNGUY2018 

 

I was an FBI Agent. 

Michael Shannon was my partner.

​

IV1bHLOL2018 Toffee thieves

 

There was an obnoxious rich woman talking about all her riches on the television. My brothers and I decided to steal from her. Suddenly we were there, we had the safe open and were trying to decide how much to take. If we took too much the police would want to find us more you see. 

 

There were also these brown things which turned out to be toffees in the safe. We decided to stuff some money and some toffees in a bag and run. Security were after us. 

 

Our mother was trying to help but she was very loud and attracted police attention. 

We were in a beautiful garden, and I couldn’t turn corners very quickly. We were nearly at the getaway car when my alarm woke me up. 

​

IV1bUANM2018 Slipped a note

 

I was at a dinner party and a stranger walked by me and slipped a note into my hand bag. Unfortunately I woke up before I had the chance to read what the note said.

​

IV1bN?? Seduced by roast chicken 

​

So I had a dream at the age of 7, where my devoted mother was seduced a disappeared with the well known pop artist Tom Jones. Tom Jones sang to her and stole her heart and the eloped together and I spent the next ten years persuading my mother and Tom Jones to return to the family and resume their maternal duties. I was ultimately successful but the family was never the same. He was the colour of roast chicken.  

​

IV1bUCAT2018 Houseboat rave

 

There was a houseboat rave. There were all these old grumpy grandpas raving and speeding down the river.

​

IV1bHMOR2017 Laser popcorn robots

 

I was on a beach with a friend, sort of like one I’d been to once in Edinburgh, straight along with a city on the other side. All of a sudden lasers started shooting at the beach and over our heads into the city. The beach was full of people and they all started ducking and screaming. I looked round from the ground and these giant machine/robots were rising up out of the sea (looking like something slightly Star Wars-esque). Somehow we ended up inside the top of the metal laser gun things and there were creature/people/robot things in there talking to us because they’d captured us. I was starting to freak out a bit and had just realised we were all now wearing the suits too but ours were blue instead of red, when all of a sudden my driving instructor stepped out from the group of captured people to stand up for us. Well anyway, they shrunk him down and forced him into the front of the gun part of the laser. Somehow I ended up outside again in a concrete area near the beach. The robot/humans are searching for me and they’re driving round in tanks. I run into this area and it’s full of popcorn barrels. I’m trying to work out what to do when one of my friends from primary school pops up from inside one of the barrels and tells me to get in one and hide. So I do. The human/robots arrive looking for us and I’m looking up from at them from where I’m hiding and part of my brain knows they should be able to see me, but they don’t. That’s everything I remember. 

​

IV1bHJJ2018 Curious George

 

A mixture of George Harrison and a man I know in real life didn’t like to bump into people he knew. He didn’t like the obligation of being friendly to them. So whenever he went somewhere in public he wore a bonnet and sunglasses. He thought nobody could recognise him. But we all knew who he was. Whenever he saw us in public he was REALLY unfriendly.

 

My friend Emily was distraught.. She was in my kitchen relating to me what had happened the other day. She had seen the man in Sainsbury’s and when she’d tried to greet him he had made a rude gesture to her and flashed her! I was really angry, and planned to confront him when I next saw him! 

​

IV1bMKEV2017 Off-limits

 

I discover a basement entrance to my house. It has bedrooms, sitting rooms and bathrooms. And then there is an off-limits section that belongs to the landlord. I sneak in, it’s a long windowless room lined with intriguing books. When do they visit? And what’s in the books— do I dare read one, will the landlord catch me snooping around?

​

IV1bUTRE2018 Skating suits

 

Someone throws me a white suitcase in a corridor. It has a bomb in it. In a panic, I try to explain to security that it’s not my suitcase while 3 identical versions of the person who threw the suitcase at me skate around in white suits.

​

​

IV1bETRE2018 Voyage without ID

 

I’m towing a giant ship to Iceland with a motor boat. It’s stunning, like a mill-pond incredibly calm. We stop at Orkney, Shetland and the Faroe’s. It all goes very quickly. And then I remember that I forgot my passport and they probably won’t let me into Iceland. I keep quiet. 

​

IV1bHTRE2018 Monocle

​

I went and told some businessmen that they need to have more fun in their lives and played piano for them. In the forest ? appeared wearing a monocle that covered his face and told me that he finally fell in love with her. 

​

IV8bTJG2016 Dude, really?

​

Over the span of about a year, I had maybe 5 dreams involving me driving a car around various parts of my country on long, long trips (big country). I remember very little details of those dreams, but the last one ended in a way no other ever has. I was at a party, and a guy came out of the crowd, pointed a gun, and straight up shot me in the arm. I was like..... "Hey, dude... really?!", he faded into the background, I rounded up some friends to go find him, and then woke up.

​

IV1bHWHA2020 Skinling

​

this dream begins with me and 3 other guys one of the guys had and of the most 90s haircuts ever seen it was like he shaved off half the hair on his head except for a small strain of hair in front of his ear i will call him sam the other two were really tall and i dont remember what they looked like but one i think i called ethan made a few fairly gay jokes about 90s haircut guy, the other tall douchebag seemed to be the only one who knew the place when we arrived at the place which was for some reason was called lake cancoon (it was just a body of water and a dilapidated house) we were hunting a thing called the skinder or skinling or skin-whatever our first plan to get the thing was to try to lure it out of the water im not sure how we would do this but it seemed to involve getting in the water and swimming around when that didn't work we went into the dilapidated house next to the water for some reason we decided to open a box and in the box was this giant wad of skin that had a face and some arms i think i can only compare it to the monster from basket case mixed with the master from fallout 1, for some reason we all ran away from it even though i don't know how it would move it didn't have any legs, then i remember hiding with someone else in a barrel by the water i dont remember if it was sam or ethan or other douchebag but we died but that isn't where the dream ends then for some reason im under water staring at a skeleton while a child\'s voice is telling me " don't worry we can both be skinders now that we're both dead" then out of nowhere it changes to a youtube video of two people in the barrel telling them to come to lake cancoon because they were in the barrel and you could come see the two youtubers and spend the night in the barrel. then i woke up.

​

IV1bUPLA2010 Thug

​

I was in grade 1, and all my classmates were dressed as doctors but with those crow masks people wore in the black plague. We were in out assembly hall and I was on the floor while they towered over me. Then they tore off my clothes and went on to stab and dissect me and yup. I remember screaming but not in real life cause I'm a thug. Pretty scary stuff though. still remember after 12 year

​

IV1bHWEIR2020 Dan Schneider

​

This dream is set in a rather strange officeroom. From what i remember, it had red walls, several wooden bookshelves and a desk. The height of the room was very awkward; the ceiling seemed to be quite low.
In the room we have a lawyer/advisor with an unknown name wearing a brown suit. He is standing in front of the desk. Behind it, was Dan Schneider. The famous creator of shows such as iCarly, Victorious and Zoey101. The lawyer is trying to convince Dan to refrain from doing SOMETHING. It is not specified what. Howeveer, Dan seems quite upset about this lad questioning his authority. Dan schneider gets increasingly angry as the lawyer tries to change his mind about something.
At one point, the whole thing escalates into complete chaos. The lawyer is incredibly furious and desperate. He screams: \'\'DAN, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU\'RE GONNA GET US KILLED. IF YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS PLAN, YOU ARE GOING TO PUT US ALL IN GREAT DANGER.

Dan schneider gets up and says the following:

danger? DANGER? I, AM THE EPITOME OF DANGER.

Dan schneider is now increasing in size exponentially: He eventually becomes so big that he destroys the entire office out of blind rage, then the entire building, and eventually, the entire dream world. 

I wake up..

​

IV1bUGRE? Padawan

​

I fought with Anakin Skywalker, as a Padawan, against a fleets of droids within a black room with neon pink and green squares haphazardly flung and scarce across the walls. After the fight, when I stood atop a pile of nonfunctioning metal and circuits, I taunted him about his supposed upbringing by dogs. Please do not take any of this as Star Wars Canon.

​

IV1bEWIL?

​

there was a big dancing group and i was part of it, then a giant robot unicorn destroyed the known universe.

​

IV1bHAND2018 Teleport sneeze

​

I had a dream that I was a bad person and had to make up for the bad things I did. So this gorilla king told me to do good deeds that spell out the word “December” (idk what that means). So I tried to get a ball for some peers but I was being teased for it. Somehow the gorilla king and I started talking to other animal kings. One of the kong’s shows me where squirrels come from.. Basically when an elderly person dies and sneezes at the same time they teleport to another pocket of space where with float in a bubble and slowly transform into a squirrel. Once someone is completely a squirrel, they are released into the real world.

​

IV3bMCEL2011 Did they eat my family?

​

i was in my house, i was pretty young at the time of said dream. i think this is only one of the two nightmares i've ever had. i woke up from my bed in the dream and peeked out my door. there were cannibals in my house and i seemed to be alone. (did they eat my family i don\'t know) somehow i moved to my living room and hid IN a recliner chair. i was looking out from the cushions and could see these cannibals looking for me. the dream abruptly ended when one made eye contact with me.

​

IV1bHVER2020 Bering Strait

​

I jumped on a train to get back home, but didn't jump off in time and missed my house, so I kept going. I rode all the way to Russia through a path in the Bering strait, until the train stopped in a giant hangar. I met some other people who were homeless and travelling illegally on trains like I was and joined a gang. A teen got in trouble for stealing some food. We broke him out and I started my journey back home.

​

IV1bHCEL2020 Devil's Night

​

my dream started as these girls convinced me to chop up this old creepy man and like marinate him in candy, then make him into a soup and feed him to a large group of people, as i did such over an intercom there was a voice saying "if you ate the soup you're going to die" and everyone panicked. it was in a large almost school like building and people started running all over the place and freaking out, i found this island close to the building and swam to it. a small group of people where there and we stayed there for a few days.i saw an island close to that island and swam to it and stole their boats. (sorry) then we got into the boat that i stole and we canoed to yet another island but this one was different. less and less people were on the boat with me as i got closer to the island, and the last person with me said, we have to promise to marry the devil to survive because its devils night. and you know i was like yeah that sounds ok, not the weirdest thing thats happened. we get to the island and its like a shack. i go inside and its almost a cult like group of people who i know and i see a friend i haven't talked to in years and we just hug and are all like i missed u blah blah. the leader of this cult thing (a large man with a beard) started talking about how much he hated the person who made the soup, and that was me. i had told nobody that yet and for some reason i felt like itd be a good idea to do that. so i admitted it was me but i regretted it. everyone ganged up on me and tried to kill me but if anyone touched me from that point on they died. so one person was left and they show me in the head. and i died. i turned into a demon or something and i controlled stuff, but then the devil or someone got mad at me and put me back and earth and i just died over and over and over in each situation. then i woke up

​

​

IV1bHZOM2024 Zombie Crisis

​

There's been a zombie crisis, 4 years after the initial waves there are now different sets of protagonists
1 our main group, zombies who have retained some humanity, they try to feed ethically: recently naturally deceased or people wh attack them, not innocents not victims not children.
2 cannibal predatory zombies, biggest group by population
3 remnants of the human population organised by the vestiges of the military, they are trying to eliminate the zombies, especially by taking out organised groups
4 zombie animals which have had an upgrade in intelligence due to zombie virus which they consumed from zombie corpses 
5 artificial intelligence which came out of the space exploration programme: we're on a co-manned mission, now have returned with human crew,  based in the body of the ship but have multiple autonomous avatars
Our group is laying low in Aunty ?'s house, trying to avoid being noticed. There is a female zombie (?) and her brother (?), were both involved in science. There is a zombie former military commander (Commander ?), worked with airforce.
Looking out window at night, ? notices fleeing children trying to get out of the city along some sort of path through the gardens. Children are self organised and seem scared. They are being stalked by a group of zombie dogs.
Group don't do anything to help; too likely to draw attention. ? not happy.
Listening in to military channels they hear that the remnant of the army are about to eliminate a "nest" of organised zombies in their neighbourhood, fear it might be them that's targeted. It's somewhere else.
While the are crouching in the dark keeping a low profile, there is a breakin through the back door. An AI avatar and human crew have broken into the house, crew includes ? and ?'s little brother. They find out about AI.
AI is telepathic and can read all organic minds. Commander ? and AI agree to a plan of forced breeding of humans. They say it is the only way to preserve the human race. ? disgusted!

​

IV1bCTRE2020 Dynamite

​

My boyfriend is trying to get me to blow up a primary school (there's no-one in it, it's more symbolic.) He makes me lit the dynamite. When it explodes it paints the whole building white. We are really worried about the owners coming back. 

​

IV1bHROK? Look at me, I'm a Grandpa

​

I was getting ready to play the final level of Plants vs. Zombies, where you have to fight Dr. Zomboss. As Crazy Dave spoke to me before the fight, the graphics became pixelated and I got sucked into the game. I wasn't on the roof where you were supposed to be. I was at a college campus. I caught a glimpse of Dr Zomboss transforming into a college girl and hiding behind the wall. I ran after her, and she kept hiding from me. Suddenly, I saw a very old blue macaw bird and its children and grandchildren. The grandfather shouted "LOOK AT ME, I'M A GRANDPA!" and didn't try to help either of us. I can't remember the rest.

​

IV1bHHEM2021 (US) What in the world are you doing child?

​

I had a dream once that I was at this strange boarding school. Think of it like Hogwarts except less interesting, no magic, and you didn't really learn anything? The main part of the school did look pretty nice though; it was clean and new looking, mainly being a neutral tan tone with lots of windows inside. There were three teams, Red, Blue and Yellow. If I remember, Blue Team was much more friendly but tried their best in competitions, although not taking it too far, Red was more aggressive and competitive, and Yellow I was not given much detail on, but I think they were alright, just doing their own thing and didn't care much about competition. The dorms for the teams were the corresponding color, so I believe I was in Blue Team? My main dorm room had blue walls and a lot of comfy looking chairs, and there were doors in that would lead to everyone's bedrooms and such.

There was this weird man in a weird blue outfit, blue eyes and he had sort blonde hair that went down to his neck. He was always around somewhere, either right next to me, or a couple of feet behind me, smiling at me in a friendly, parent-esque way (except for the bathroom, thank goodness). It sounds creepy, but he wasn't really threatening or didn't seem to have any ill intentions. I did some measurements afterwards and found that he was about....7 feet tall? In contrast to the realistic looking world, he was a cartoonish, 3d model.

Anyways, the teams would compete through various sports. One of them that I played was this weird mixture of bowling and golf, where I had to hit this ball with a golf club to make it hit the bowling pins and get it into the hole? I just remember I wasn't doing the best, but the blue man was cheering me on, anyways. Then, sometime later, I suddenly...snap. I get the idea of leaving, and then...blam. I just leave the school. I'm further out when the Blue Man runs up to me, then walks besides me. He looks down at me and tells me, "You should go back to the school!" His lips did not move, but rather I heard it directly in my head, but not quite? Like, it was more of just the impression of how he would say it, which was the same tone as a parent trying to encourage their child to do chores. It was weird.

I ignored him and continued to walk around through the neighborhood, walking past trees and buildings. Then, the man takes me up to some house's door and takes out this weird, spring-like device from his pocket and knocks down the door. I hear a guy insult the Blue Man, and I see the Blue Man come out of the house's garage in a limousine. I try to walk away, but then he pulls up to me and with that weird telepathy tells me, "Get in the car."

It goes black for a split second, then the next thing I know, I'm back in the school. There's a soccer game (I don't like soccer), and I'm the goalie, and this 2d red cartoon goblin is scoring a bunch of points for, you guessed it, Team Red. I see the Blue Man watching me with that same smile, and I walk up to him. He looks down at me with a "yes, what do you need?" expression. Then, I start waving and flailing my arms around, yelling, "I AM ANNOYING YOU! I AM ANNOYING YOU! I AM ANNOYING YOUUUU!!!!!"
I see a dramatic zoom up flash effect on the Blue Man's face with a "what in the world are you doing, child?" expression for 3 seconds until I wake up.

Sometimes I still think about this dream. It was so strange, but oddly entertaining to me.

​

bottom of page